


EPISODE SEVEN: "You Can't Avoid This Forever"

by gaypetersimmonds



Series: Skam Brighton: Season Two [8]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Trans Character, Episode 7, F/M, Gen, TW FOR DISORDERED EATING, also mild ableism, lit rally the family of it all, mlm wlw solidarity babes!, please read the notes, skam season 2, sometimes........ hets can kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-21 15:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18704995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds
Summary: Liz Tudor is stressed out. Between studying for her GCSEs, her pressuring parents, stealing glances at girls across hallways and her friends never really understanding her, she has a lot on her plate.That's not even to mention everything going on inside her head.Liz just want perfection in everything - her grades, her looks, her life - and she'll get it, whether everyone likes it or not. However, James Cohen seems to like it a bit too much.FIRST CLIP: You Don't Want To Be Like Her





	1. CLIP ONE: "You Don't Want To Be Like Her"

**SATURDAY, MAY 4TH, 13:42**

 

INT. OFFICE HALL, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

LIZ sits on one far end of the row of chairs on CHARLES’s side, boredly scrolling through something on her phone that we can't see.

 

She looks up across, the room. There’s no one there.

 

She looks down at her phone again, scrolling through her messages from JAMES - the last one was an hour ago, them saying goodbye to each other - and her messages with the GIRL SQUAD - there have been none yet today.

 

She sighs and looks along the rest of the row of chairs, seeing NICK smiling smugly at her from the furthest one.

 

NICK  
[sing song] Hi!

 

LIZ rolls her eyes and turns her phone off, turning to face him.

 

LIZ  
Okay, I’m just doing this because I have nothing else to do.

 

NICK  
Mm hmm, okay.

 

LIZ  
So… How are you?

 

NICK laughs.

 

NICK

Hungover. Then again, what’s new there? 

 

LIZ

Jesus Christ…

 

NICK  
But, in all serious… I’m actually pretty happy right now? Me and Rori talked practically all of last night. She’s… She’s really cool.

 

LIZ gasps and looks at him with a smug smile.

 

LIZ  
You have a  _ crush  _ on her!

 

NICK  
What are you, eight?

 

LIZ  
You totally do! I called it!

 

NICK  
You thought I was gay?

 

LIZ  
I still knew though!

 

LIZ laughs and NICK shakes his head at her, smiling.

 

NICK  
So what if I like her? I should be able to.

 

LIZ  
Yeah. I mean, I think she deserves better than you, but still, could be worse.

 

NICK laughs again, nodding.

 

NICK  
Could be James, right?

 

LIZ nervously laughs, fiddling with her hands.

 

LIZ  
Yeah… Hey, can I talk to you something?

 

NICK  
Shoot.

 

LIZ nods, her laughter getting a bit more intense.

 

LIZ  
Um, do you know anything I could watch with a… bisexual character?

 

NICK  
Like porn?

 

LIZ  
No! Jesus, why I would ask for you… No! Ew! I meant like, a TV show or a movie. I mean, I tried to Google it, but all I got was…

 

NICK nods.

 

NICK  
It really does be like that sometimes. I mean, it really depends on why you want it.

 

LIZ  
Okay.

 

There’s a pause, LIZ beginning to nervously laugh again, but NICK speaks before it gets too out of hand.

 

NICK  
So why do you want it?

 

LIZ  
Because… I’m bi.

 

NICK  
Ah! Of course! It all makes sense now.

 

LIZ looks at him, confused and offended.

 

NICK  
I don’t know, it just does. I mean, you’re totally the type.

 

LIZ  
What’s that supposed to mean?

 

NICK  
You’re repressed, your mother’s like  _ that,  _ and frankly, you have so much needy bi bottom energy that I, as a fellow needy bi bottom, feel attacked by it.

 

LIZ  
Please shut up!

 

NICK laughs as LIZ sighs.

 

LIZ  
I don’t want to be a “type”, okay? I just know I like both, and--

 

NICK  
Sorry, don’t mean to be a bitch... Well, actually I do. There’s more than two genders. I know you’re new to this, and I just want to… Help. I guess. I want to be your bi guru.

 

LIZ  
I… I really don’t like that.

 

NICK  
Too bad! So, you were saying?

 

LIZ  
Um, I just know I like multiple?

 

NICK nods.

 

LIZ  
Multiple genders, and… I can tell people, but I always feel bad about it, because I don’t want to cheat on someone, and I don’t want to fuck everyone I see, and I just want to like both and not be seen as a slut or something.

 

NICK sighs and nods.

 

NICK  
Yeah, it happens. Look, you’re not a slut for liking more than one gender, okay? You’re just having an internalised biphobia time.

 

LIZ  
Yeah, but Victoria always says “everyone’s bi” and does all of these weird experiment things so I should be cool with it but… 

 

NICK  
But you don’t want to be like her.

 

LIZ nods.

 

LIZ  
So… Any shows you recommend?

 

NICK laughs, LIZ joining in.

 

NICK  
I’m pretty into Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Brooklyn Nine-Nine and stuff like that, so there’s that. They both have good bi characters, but there’s more if you look. If you look really,  _ really  _ hard.

 

LIZ  
Okay, and I was--

 

CHARLES’s office door opens and a young woman walks out, walking down the hallway as CHARLES walks out and smiles awkwardly at NICK.

 

CHARLES  
Nickolai.

 

CHARLES walks back into the office.

 

NICK  
Speaking of hard, I’ll see you later, Lizzie.

 

He winks at her and walks into the office, as LIZ groans, getting her phone back out.

 

The door to VICTORIA’s office opens and VICTORIA walks out.

 

VICTORIA  
Elizabeth, I couldn’t help but overhear--

 

LIZ looks down at her phone and immediately stands up.

 

LIZ  
I just got a text from Rori, she needs my help, I’ll text you when I’ll be home.

 

LIZ walks off and out of the office as VICTORIA sighs, leaning against the wall.

 

VICTORIA  
Every time…

 

She looks at CHARLES’s door for a few moments, and then walks back into her office.


	2. CLIP TWO: "So Good"

**MONDAY, MAY 6TH, 11:12**

 

_“Drumming Song” by Florence and the Machine_ plays over shots of students walking through hallways, then shots of students hanging out in the courtyard, then panning towards the back of the school.

 

EXT. TROPHY SHED

 

LIZ and JAMES are kissing behind the shed, LIZ leaning on the shed as JAMES pulls away, smiling.

 

JAMES  
I have to go.

 

He kisses her again.

 

JAMES  
English.

 

She laughs and then kisses him.

 

LIZ  
Okay.

 

He kisses her.

 

JAMES  
Okay.

 

They continue to kiss, letting themselves be distracted, but they - and the song - are soon cut off by LIZ’s phone buzzes.

 

LIZ  
Shit.

 

LIZ pulls her phone out of her pocket and answers it.

 

LIZ  
Hello?

 

CHARLES [O.S.]  
Elizabeth, I have to tell you something.

 

LIZ  
Um, okay.

 

CHARLES [O.S.]  
Your mother wants us to have a chat at some point.

 

LIZ  
Okay? When I get home?

 

CHARLES [O.S.]  
We already checked, we’re both completely booked except from 7 to 8 on Friday.

 

LIZ sighs, rolling her eyes.

 

LIZ  
Okay. Glad it’s convenient for you.

 

She hangs up and puts her phone back in her pocket.

 

JAMES  
What was that about?

 

LIZ  
My parents made me make an appointment with them so they could talk to me. Which is just… so nice of them.

 

JAMES  
Aw, that sucks. When is it?

 

LIZ  
Friday night. [pause] Fuck, that's your birthday. I'll have to--

 

JAMES  
It's fine if you can't come to the party, I get--

 

LIZ  
I can always come later, if I’m not too emotionally drained.

 

JAMES laughs, relieved.

 

JAMES  
Okay!

 

They kiss again, and again, and again.

 

JAMES  
You have to stop being so good, I’m never going to class now.

 

LIZ  
I mean… Do I have to?

 

JAMES laughs and kisses her one last time, before walking off, with LIZ walking in the opposite direction.

 

INT. MATHS CLASSROOM

 

LIZ walks into the almost full classroom and sits in front of BRIANNA and RORI, who are looking at something on BRIANNA’s phone as she turns around to face them.

 

LIZ  
Hey!

 

BRIANNA and RORI look up to see LIZ, who looks dishevelled - lips red, hair messy, tie askew.

 

BRIANNA  
Hey.

 

RORI  
Are… you okay?

 

LIZ  
What do you mean?

 

RORI  
You’re a little…

 

RORI gestures to her mouth and LIZ wipes her mouth, nervously laughing.

 

LIZ  
Oh yeah… Um, I just ate, so…

 

BRIANNA puts her phone down.

 

BRIANNA  
Ate? Ate what? Dick?

 

RORI bursts out laughing, extremely loudly, leaning on BRIANNA as she wheezes, LIZ watching them uncomfortably.

 

RORI  
Oh, that was good. Anyway, are we going to the party on Friday?

 

LIZ  
Can’t. I have a… thing.

 

RORI  
What thing?

 

LIZ  
Just a thing.

 

RORI  
Oh… Hey, how about you try and get out of that thing, and I’ll find you a hook up for Friday?

 

LIZ  
Um, I don’t--

 

RORI  
Because Esther and Sandy are being weird, and Brianna and I… Well, you know, you’ll need someone too! I’m pretty sure this girl from Varndean--

 

LIZ  
Stop! I don’t want a hook up because I can’t go! I said no!

 

There’s a pause, RORI looking down, ashamed, as the teacher walks in.

 

LIZ turns back around to face the front, closing her eyes and taking a breath, straightening her tie.


	3. CLIP THREE: "You Need To Fuck"

**TUESDAY, MAY 7TH, 17:15**

 

INT. KITCHEN, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

LIZ and JAMES walk in through the back door, LIZ nervously laughing, JAMES smiling politely, as MARY sits at the kitchen island, on her phone.

 

LIZ  
Hey.

 

MARY looks over her shoulder at them, and upon seeing JAMES wave awkwardly, fully turns around.

 

MARY  
Who’s this?

 

LIZ  
This is James. 

 

There’s a short pause.

 

LIZ  
My boyfriend.

 

MARY nods, looking JAMES over.

 

MARY  
Well, you dress better than the last one.

 

JAMES laughs.

 

JAMES  
Thanks, I think?

 

MARY nods, and there’s an awkward pause.

 

MARY  
So are you going to go now…?

 

LIZ  
Yeah! Yeah, right, come on, James.

 

LIZ starts to lead JAMES to the other side of the kitchen.

 

MARY  
Are you two going to have sex?

 

JAMES laughs as LIZ scoffs, trying to hide her embarrassment.

 

LIZ  
Mary, you shouldn’t ask those kinds of questions!

 

MARY  
Why not? Mum said I could!

 

LIZ  
Well, you shouldn’t always listen to what Mum says.

 

MARY huffs, and LIZ walks out of one of the doors as JAMES turns to MARY.

 

JAMES  
Nice meeting you! You dress well too.

 

MARY  
I know.

 

JAMES laughs as he walks out, the door closing behind him.

 

INT. LIZ’S ROOM

 

LIZ opens the door and walks in, JAMES walking in behind her. They both awkwardly look around for a few moments, LIZ nervously laughing.

 

LIZ  
So… That’s my sister.

 

JAMES  
Yeah. Hey, what do you want to do?

 

He winks at her and she laughs, rolling her eyes.

 

LIZ  
I don’t know… 

 

They smile at each other, moving a bit closer.

 

We cut to JAMES and LIZ lying in LIZ’s bed, him with his arm around her as she rests her head on his shoulder, LIZ’s laptop on JAMES’s lap, playing a quiet episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

 

They both laugh a little after a joke.

 

LIZ  
I'm pretty sure Esther would call this copaganda. Cop propaganda.

 

JAMES laughs a little more.

 

JAMES  
She's right. You know, you’re totally an Amy.

 

LIZ  
What? No, I’m not cool enough.

 

JAMES  
Yes you are! You both like binders, you both are smart, you both like idiot Jewish men.

 

LIZ  
Well, you got me there.

 

JAMES laughs and they kiss, and as they do, VICTORIA walks in and LIZ pushes JAMES away, sitting up and pausing the episode.

 

LIZ  
What are you doing in my room?

 

VICTORIA smiles fakely at JAMES, obviously not expecting this.

 

VICTORIA  
Elizabeth, who is this?

 

LIZ  
Uh, this is James. 

 

VICTORIA  
Ah.

 

There’s a pause, as JAMES looks between the two of them, smiling with confusion.

 

VICTORIA  
Well, I was expecting a girlfriend, but…

 

LIZ  
Just-- What do you want?

 

VICTORIA  
No need to be so rude in front of your guest. 

 

She looks at JAMES, who nervously laughs.

 

VICTORIA  
I just wanted to say that I can’t make it to the meeting on Friday.

 

LIZ’s fake smile falls from her face.

 

LIZ  
What? Why?

 

VICTORIA  
I have a very important meeting to test a new hypothesis at that time, nothing can be done about it.

 

LIZ quickly glances at JAMES, nervous.

 

LIZ  
Can we reschedule or…?

 

VICTORIA  
Your father’s booked, so… Take what you can get.

 

LIZ  
But that isn’t fair!

 

VICTORIA laughs and looks at JAMES.

 

VICTORIA  
She’s so uptight, isn’t she?

 

LIZ rolls her eyes as JAMES laughs, because he doesn't know what else to do.

 

JAMES  
What?

 

VICTORIA  
I’ve been saying it for years, you should do something about it.

 

LIZ  
Mother, please--

 

VICTORIA  
You need to fuck, Elizabeth! To  _ fuck _ !

 

JAMES laughs, mostly with shock, as LIZ covers her face with embarrassment, decidedly not laughing.

 

VICTORIA smiles smugly and exits. LIZ looks at JAMES and sighs.

 

LIZ  
I’m sorry about her.

 

JAMES  
[his laughter fading] It’s fine!

 

JAMES takes his phone from the nightstand and turns it on, LIZ getting her from under the covers and seeing that she has a text from RORI that says: “I can hook you up with this girl Joanna in the year above us!!! She likes girls!!!”

 

LIZ sighs and responds: “Rori, I seriously can’t go. Just drop it.”

 

She sees that RORI has read the message, but she doesn’t respond, not even typing.

 

LIZ turns her phone off and looks at JAMES, who’s already looking at her.

 

JAMES  
Your mum seems... nice.

 

LIZ  
Yeah, in small doses. You should try living with her.

 

JAMES  
Yeah… But she's funny.

 

LIZ  
Okay, if you say so.

 

JAMES kisses her and starts the episode again, putting his arm back around her as she snuggles into him.


	4. CLIP FOUR: "Let Me Handle It"

**WEDNESDAY, MAY 8TH, 12:38**

 

INT. DRAMA CLASSROOM, BACA

 

The cast of  _ Grease  _ sit around the room, all of them reading through their scripts, some of them acting out scenes with each other.

 

LIZ sits with ESTHER, SANDY, RORI and BRIANNA, in intensely uncomfortable silence for several long seconds.

 

Eventually, ESTHER gets up and walks over to some guys - including JAMES and NICK - and begins to talk to them, pointing at their scripts. JAMES looks over at LIZ and waves. She waves back, RORI watching them both.

 

SANDY sighs and taps the ground, as she has no script to look at, LIZ watching her as BRIANNA and RORI read on.

 

She looks over at SOPHIE and TARA, who are humming _“Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee”_ together.

 

SANDY  
I’m gonna ask them if they want to help with sets, so… 

 

SANDY gets up and walks over to them, sitting down next to them, as BRIANNA sighs, looking at LIZ and RORI.

 

BRIANNA  
This fucking sucks, right?

 

LIZ  
I think the show’s going really well.

 

BRIANNA  
Not the show, dumbass, Esther and Sandy.

 

LIZ  
Oh, yeah. It’s not good.

 

BRIANNA  
Honestly, I talked to Esther about it and I got Rori to talk to Sandy, and honestly, they just need to talk it out, it’s all just a misunderstanding.

 

LIZ nods and there’s a short pause.

 

RORI  
[sarcastically] Thanks for the help, Liz. You’re such a good friend.

 

LIZ  
What?

 

BRIANNA  
No. No, no, no, we do not need another fight right now, okay? I’m barely holding the group together as it is.

 

LIZ  
Seriously?

 

BRIANNA  
Look, just let me handle it. I’ll talk to them both and get them to sort things out. 

 

RORI  
We could lock them in a closet at Nick’s party!

 

BRIANNA  
Isn’t that a bit teen movie?

 

RORI  
It could totally work!

 

LIZ laughs and rolls her eyes as RORI moves a bit closer to BRIANNA.

 

RORI  
But you should decide, Brianna, you’re good at this stuff.

 

BRIANNA  
Thanks?

 

LIZ  
Rori, what’s wrong?

 

RORI  
Oh, so  _ now  _ you want to know?

 

BRIANNA  
Let’s run a scene! Yeah! Let’s run the sleepover scene, Liz, can you do the other girls’ parts?

 

LIZ  
I--

 

BRIANNA  
Good!

 

LIZ flips through her script and lands on the scene as she looks at RORI, who’s reading her lines under her breath. LIZ sighs, looking out the window.


	5. CLIP FIVE: "It's Fine, It's Fine, It's Fine"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG trigger warning for eating disorder stuff in this clip. it starts when liz goes into the kitchen. binging is shown and purging is shown to a far lesser extent. if this could affect you negatively in any way, please don't put yourself through reading it. you can skip to the notes at the end of the clip to read a brief summary.

**FRIDAY, MAY 10TH, 19:09**

 

INT. OFFICE HALL, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

LIZ sits alone on the chairs in front of CHARLES’s office, scrolling boredly through her phone as _“Therapy” by All Time Low_ plays. 

 

She goes onto JAMES’s instagram and plays his stories, first seeing a screenshot of Spotify that shows the song currently playing, and then it cuts into soundless video of his party, with flashing neon lights, people dancing, smoke and JAMES smiling as he hugs NICK.

 

LIZ smiles slightly as the door opens, the music stopping with it, as a man walks out of CHARLES’s office and down the hall, CHARLES standing in the doorway, and LIZ turns off her phone.

 

CHARLES  
So… Do you want to come in?

 

LIZ nods, laughing nervously, and follows him in.

 

INT. CHARLES’S OFFICE

 

CHARLES sits at his desk as LIZ sits opposite him, fiddling with her phone case.

 

CHARLES  
So… Here we are.

 

LIZ  
Yeah…

 

CHARLES  
Um, I’m going to ask you some questions, is that okay?

 

LIZ nods, not breaking eye contact and smiling, and CHARLES opens a file in front of him, reading from it.

 

CHARLES  
So… Your mother and I already had a conversation about your childhood, but I want to know what you think. Do you think you had a good childhood?

 

LIZ  
I… I guess?

 

There’s a pause.

 

CHARLES  
Okay… Do you have any favourite memories or…?

 

LIZ  
I remember when I was one, we all went to Blackpool? You got sick, so Mum took me out to the circus on our own, and there was this man dressed up as a tiger that scared me. Oh, and I had this big yellow box of crayons that you were sick in.

 

CHARLES laughs and nods, writing something down.

 

CHARLES  
The other time we went to Blackpool was really fun too.

 

LIZ nods, not responding, as CHARLES writes something else down.

 

CHARLES  
And how was secondary school?

 

LIZ  
Fine, I guess?

 

CHARLES looks at her like “come on”, and she sighs.

 

LIZ  
It wasn’t the best. But I had Rori. And I just had a little blip in year 9, that's all it was. I’m fine now.

 

CHARLES  
Really? How do you feel about that?

 

LIZ  
I don’t want to talk about it.

 

CHARLES  
This is a safe space--

 

LIZ  
No.

 

CHARLES  
Elizabeth, please--

 

LIZ  
No. No. No. No.

 

CHARLES  
Okay, okay, no.

 

LIZ nods, as CHARLES writes something else down.

 

CHARLES  
So, how’s life now?

 

LIZ  
Good! Really good! I have my routines, I have the show, I have friends, everything’s... Everything's great!

 

CHARLES writes something else down.

 

CHARLES  
Okay… What about your routines?

 

LIZ tilts her head at him.

 

CHARLES  
What are they?

 

LIZ  
That depends.

 

CHARLES  
On what?

 

LIZ  
Morning, school, the school day, night, weekends, what you guys are doing, what my friends are doing. It’s all very complicated.

 

CHARLES  
Hmm, yeah… 

 

He writes something else down.

 

CHARLES  
Okay, we’ll talk in a bit more detail in a bit, but for now, I want you to look at these.

 

He pulls a bag out from one of his desk drawers and empties it onto the table - the contents a small sponge, a small pair of glasses, a wooden ball, a feather, a blue plastic cube and a piece of red string.

 

CHARLES  
I want you to tell me a story with these.

 

LIZ  
Um, what?

 

CHARLES  
I-- I’ll show you!

 

He picks up the cube and the ball.

 

CHARLES  
[high voice] Hello Mr Ball! [low voice] Hello Ms Cube! [high voice] How was your day? [low voice] Good! How was yours? [high voice] Good!

 

He looks at LIZ and there’s a pause.

 

LIZ  
You can’t seriously be asking me to play with toys right now.

 

CHARLES  
I am. You have to do it.

 

LIZ  
No I don’t. I don’t want to.

 

CHARLES  
Just-- Please?

 

LIZ  
Okay, okay, fine.

 

She picks up the sponge and puts the glasses on it.

 

LIZ  
Once there was a sponge who had bad eyes. He got glasses and then he felt better. Yay. The end.

 

She puts them down and stares at CHARLES, who sighs and writes something else down.

 

CHARLES  
Okay… Let’s try that again.

 

LIZ sighs as CHARLES pushes the objects towards her.

 

INT. OFFICE HALL

 

LIZ is sitting in the same seat as before, on her phone again, the time 20:47.

 

She opens RORI’s instagram to see a picture of RORI and BRIANNA, both smiling widely at JAMES's party.

 

She taps on RORI’s story and watches several clips of the party, lots of people dancing - mainly RORI, NICK and BRIANNA. The final story is a picture of SANDY and ESTHER dancing together, smiling, with the caption “COUPLE GOALS!!!!”

 

The story ends and LIZ goes onto the GIRL SQUAD’s group chat, which has no new messages.

 

She slowly types out “Hey, how’s the party going?” and, after taking a deep breath, hits send and instantly exits the app, opening a sudoku app and beginning to play a game, doing it quickly and getting halfway done within 29 seconds, and then the office door opens.

 

CHARLES  
Liz, is it okay if we talk out here?

 

LIZ nods and turns her phone off, looking scared as CHARLES sits beside her.

 

CHARLES  
So, what you just did was a test.

 

LIZ  
What? You didn’t tell me it was--

 

CHARLES  
I know, and I’m sorry. I knew you would react like this, so--

 

LIZ  
So you just… Okay. What was it a test for?

 

CHARLES  
It was an Autism assessment test. Your mother and I have had some suspicions for a while, especially after Mary, so… We wanted to see.

 

LIZ laughs nervously, taking her phone case off and on again.

 

LIZ  
But I’m not… I’m not like that, I’m not like Mary. I’m not all emotionless and robotic and--

 

CHARLES  
We both know Mary isn’t like that.

 

There’s a pause as LIZ takes a deep breath.

 

LIZ  
So what did I get?

 

CHARLES  
As usual, you passed.

 

LIZ  
What-- What does that mean?

 

CHARLES  
It means it’s very likely that you’re autistic. 

 

LIZ breathes in sharply, shaking her head.

 

CHARLES  
Very high functioning, of course, probably Asperger’s, but still autistic.

 

LIZ  
I-- I can’t… I’m already…

 

CHARLES  
There’s nothing wrong with being a lot of things. We’ll get you a good therapist, like Mary has--

 

LIZ stands up, still fiddling with her phone.

 

LIZ  
No! I don’t want a therapist, I don’t need a therapist, I’m not a sick child!

 

CHARLES stands up and puts his hand on her shoulder, which she shakes off.

 

CHARLES  
There’s nothing wrong with getting help.

 

LIZ  
I don’t need help! I had everything under control and just-- 

 

She groans loudly, balling her fists up.

 

LIZ  
[yelling] I didn’t even want to be tested!

 

CHARLES  
Liz--

 

LIZ  
I’m going to my room.

 

She turns around and walks away.

 

CHARLES  
You can’t avoid this forever!

 

LIZ opens the door and turns to him.

 

LIZ  
Why not?

 

She walks into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her, as CHARLES sighs and goes back into his office.

 

INT. KITCHEN

 

_“Townie” by Mitski_ begins to play as LIZ walks around the counter island, breathing heavily.

 

She stops in front of the fridge and turns her phone on, opening Google and searching “aspergers”, clicking on the nhs.uk page about ASD.

 

The camera focuses on the many times the word “children” is used, on “More boys are diagnosed with the condition than girls”, on “There's no "cure"”.

 

She scrolls down and sees a long section about carers, and then a shorter, basically useless section about autistic adults.

 

LIZ  
Fuck…

 

She scrolls up and clicks on a list of symptoms, scrolling through it quickly, muttering “fuck” after reading each one. She scrolls to the bottom and sees a list of other disorders she could have. She clicks on “generalised anxiety disorder” and scrolls through that page.

 

She stops for a moment.

 

She takes a deep breath.

 

She searches “eating disorders” on the website and clicks on the “eating disorders” page. She slowly reads the “Do I have an eating disorder?” section.

 

LIZ puts her phone down quickly and starts to pace the room again, back and forth.

 

LIZ  
It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s--

 

She stops walking and looks over to the fridge slowly.

 

She looks down at her shaking hands and she starts to silently cry.

 

She looks back up again and puts her hands by her side, balling them up into fists, digging her nails into her skin, as she walks over to the fridge and opens it.

 

We then cut between frantic shots of her eating various things - bread, cheese, Nutella straight out of the jar - as she continues to cry, sobbing quietly as she eats.

 

After a while, she stops, looking down at the half eaten biscuit she has in her hand.

 

She throws it into the bin, along with the rest of the rubbish she has gathered and takes a deep breath, her hands in extremely tight fists, and she walks out of the kitchen, still breathing heavily.

 

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

 

The song abruptly stops. The camera focuses on the door of the bathroom, as someone audibly throws up inside, for quite a while.

 

INT. BATHROOM

 

LIZ stands at the sink, her glasses off, washing her hands with too much soap, some vomit going down the drain as she does.

 

Eventually, after washing her hands for far longer than necessary, she bends down next to the toilet and picks her glasses up, not putting them back on and looking into the mirror.

 

She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. There are marks on her palms from her fingernails.

 

She doesn’t wipe her eyes, and her tears have dried. Without her glasses, we can clearly see the heavy bags under her eyes.

 

She puts her glasses on and smiles perfectly into the mirror. It doesn't work, she screws her face up, too tired to cry again, no more tears left.

 

She sinks down to the floors, sitting cross legged, as she pulls a set of bathroom scales from underneath a cabinet.

 

She looks down at them with disgust, but sets them in front of her anyways.

 

She slowly stands up and steps onto them, inhaling sharply as she does.

 

_ CUT TO BLACK AS “Awakening” BY OTTO WAHL PLAYS _

 

_ CUT TO END CREDITS _

 

_ CUT TO BLACK _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> liz has the meeting with charles and gets told it was a test to see if she has autism, and the result is that she probably does. she gets upset, yelling at charles, and runs into the kitchen. she binge-eats a lot of food and then throws it up in the bathroom. she then gets out some scales and stands on them. the clip ends.


End file.
